On occasion someone will come into our offices seeking direction in a relationship that has become incredibly toxic and painful. At first everything was wonderful. In fact, it was ideal. This period lasted for a few months, or sometimes a few years, and then things began to change. What was once the picture of a perfect relationship is now replaced with negligence, insults, disrespect, and a general feeling of walking on eggshells. Tension builds. People in this kind of relationship start to feel like they don’t even know their partner anymore.
Soon much more serious behaviors take place. Behaviors from one relationship to another vary from cycling through bouts of infidelity to periods of intense abuse, aggression, and violence. Some partners aren’t batterers, but they are instead chronic cheaters. Regardless, the pattern is the same.
At some point the spouse has had it and prepares to leave. This brings promises that the unacceptable behaviors will stop, that it’s all in the past, that change has already happened and a new person has emerged. When the partner gives them another chance, a period known as the honeymoon phase ensues, which is basically starting back over with flowers, lavish dates, and kindness that manipulates the abused into believing that it will be better. Only to start the cycle yet another time.
Many clients in this position ask their therapist when they should leave? At what point do you get out of a relationship like this? This is not an easy decision and no two situations are identical. If you are struggling with this question, contact our offices to set up an appointment right away and get help. No one deserves to be treated this way.
Every year around the holidays our offices see an increase in people coming in for help with depressed mood and anxiety. That is common for a couple of basic reasons: first, the holidays can be a hard time for a lot of people. When we experience loss or heartbreak during periods of time that are supposed to be happy and centered around loved ones, it can bring especially poignant sadness. Others around us are celebrating, gathering, etc., while we are grieving over losses and pains.
Second, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real condition that affects people during the fall and winter seasons. Many people wonder why they start feeling the “winter blues” every year in the later months when there isn’t anything happening in their lives that would be particularly depressing. This disorder can bring changes in appetite, trouble sleeping, mood swings, loss of energy, and more problematic symptoms that can truly impede functioning normally in family, work and peer relationships.
If you are struggling with these symptoms or dealing with grief or loss and need to talk through that with someone, please contact us for more information and to schedule an appointment. We’d be happy to help.
We have recently moved to a new location in Pleasant Grove. We no longer are at the American Fork office where we were located for about 7 years. Please make a note of this change. The new address is 481 East 1000 South, Suite A, Pleasant Grove, UT.